Fun With Ad Slogans

“Red Bull. It Gives you the Shits.”


Finals week

Pulling “all-nighters”

Popping Adderall

Blah blah blah

You slam down energy drinks

“Nerve”

“Brain”

“Cuckoo”

“Slam”

And so on

Different flavors

But then there’s “Red Bull”

You had a case of it

Now there’s two left

It’s 6 A.M and you’ve been up

All night

Your paper’s due at 8 A.M

You have two pages done

You need six

All you want to do is sleep

Because you’re crashing hard and fast

But first you have to shit

You’re sitting on the can

Pushing out soft, somewhat watery shits

And you can’t stop

When you do, there’s a calm

And in the calm your asshole burns

And you fall asleep on the toilet

With your head in your hands.